17 of Seth Meyers’ best jokes from the Golden Globes

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Seth Meyers is a US comedian, political commentator and TV presenter

The opening monologue at the Golden Globes can often be more interesting and entertaining than the awards themselves.

The ceremony has only had a regular host since 2010, when Ricky Gervais was hired to front the awards.

The tone he set has stayed ever since – opening with a cutting monologue about Hollywood, often mocking many of the stars present.

Gervais hosted for four years in total, and other presenters since have included Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, who hosted together from 2013-2015 and Jimmy Fallon.

This year, however, it was US comedian’s Seth Meyers’ turn to take the reins (although he did enlist the help of a few of the stars to deliver some of his punch lines).

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Issa Rae and Jessica Chastain helped deliver some of Meyers’s punchlines

Here are Seth Meyers’ best jokes from his opening monologue:

1. Good evening, ladies and remaining gentlemen.

2. Happy New Year, Hollywood! It’s 2018, marijuana is finally allowed and sexual harassment finally isn’t.

3. There’s a new era under way, and I can tell because it’s been years since a white man was this nervous in Hollywood.

4. For the male nominees in the room tonight, this is the first time in three months it won’t be terrifying to hear your name read out loud.

5. A lot of people thought it would be more appropriate for a woman to host these awards, and they may be right. But if it’s any consolation, I’m a man with absolutely no power in Hollywood. I’m not even the most powerful Seth in the room tonight. Hey, remember when [Seth Rogen] was the guy making trouble with North Korea? Simpler times.

6. Hollywood Foreign Press. A string of three words that could not have been better designed to infuriate our president. The only name that could make him angrier would be the Hillary Mexico Salad Association.

7. Don’t worry, [Harvey Weinstein] will be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the In Memoriam [section of the ceremony].

8. I was happy to hear they’re going to do another season of House of Cards. Is Christopher Plummer available for that, too? I hope he can do a Southern accent, because Kevin Spacey sure couldn’t.

9. The Shape of Water received the most nominations of any film this year. Just an incredibly beautiful film, but I have to admit, when I first heard about a film where a na├»ve young woman falls in love with a disgusting sea monster, I thought, ‘Oh man, not another Woody Allen movie.’

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Meyers attended the ceremony with his wife Alexi Ashe

10. The Post is nominated for best picture tonight. It’s is a film about journalistic integrity, directed by Steven Spielberg and starring Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep – [staff member comes onstage carrying several trophies] – No, not yet, we have to wait. We have to wait and see what happens.

11. Oprah Winfrey is receiving the Cecil B. DeMille Award tonight. What a tremendous honour. For Cecil B. DeMille.

12. The Golden Globes turned 75 this year. But the actress that plays its wife is still only 32.

13. Call Me by Your Name is nominated for best motion picture. It is a gay coming-of-age film. Kevin Spacey said: “You lost me at ‘of age’.”

14. According to a recent article, only 5% of speaking roles in Hollywood are played by Asian actors. But those numbers might be off since a white person did the math.

15. Sesame Street recently released a parody of Stranger Things titled Sharing Things. Meanwhile, Bert and Ernie have been doing a parody of Call Me By Your Name for years.

16. [People that work on film sets] aren’t there thanks to their rich dad – except for that one PA. Every film set has at least one super-connected PA who is always late, and you ask what the hell his deal is and someone says, “Oh, that’s Jeremy Paramount. Give Jeremy his space.”

17. And now to present our first award… Oh please don’t be two white dudes, please don’t be two white dudes. Oh thank god. It’s Gal Gadot and Dwayne Johnson, everybody!

Watch Seth Meyers’ opening monologue:

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Youtube post by NBC: Seth Meyers' Monologue at the 2018 Golden GlobesImage Copyright NBC

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